a new perspective.

need a change of pace.

Alrighty. So, I just came back from an Ultimate Frisbee tournament.

… IT SUCKED.

No, our team didn’t suck. We actually placed second (which is awesome).

It just sucked that I suck. And because of this, I didn’t get to play much. Well, not too many of the rookies did. But I know I’m on the lower end. And so I guess I deserved not being able to play much this weekend.

I’ve been doing a good amount of thinking about Ultimate the past few days (moreso than the rest of this year, anyway) and what I want to do in the future.

I was talking to Sirena about this for quite some time last night (we were outside trying to look for the aurora or a meteor… buuut that’s another story). We’re both kind of in the same boat in that we’re both rookies, we both don’t feel like we fit in all that well with the Mellons, we both felt useless at the tournament, we both missed out on the last two tournaments, and we’re both not very sure what we want to do regarding Ultimate in the future.

Then today the Nuge gave the rookies kind of a pep talk. She told us about how Rita (one of the really awesome players on the team) started off as an un-athletic rookie, but worked her way up to where she is now. So, it made me reconsider what I had talked to Sirena about last night.

I was frustrated because I really did feel useless. I even started getting inwardly frustrated with team members and I had a horrible attitude because of it today. I almost just didn’t want to play at all.

But now I’m back and I’ve thought about it, how I just wanted to give up because I’m not good enough to contribute to the team, making excuses that I don’t have time to commit. I have time if I MAKE time for it. I just have to WANT to make time. And I’ve come to realize that improving my athletic ability and ultimate frisbee skill mirrors the other things I want to do in life: improving my cosplaying skill, bettering myself as a person. If I can get better at Ultimate enough to be able to be considered a decent player (and to be put on more than one point the entire day of a tournament), then I can most certainly improve myself elsewhere. It’ll also give me the drive to stay fit. I’ll have something to work towards. It takes work. I can’t become magically skilled overnight. I have to take Ultimate more seriously if I want to improve.

So that’s what I’m going to do. Regionals is in two weeks. I’m going, and this time I’m going to be useful. I’m getting in shape, eating well, and learning more about what and what not to do.

This is going to happen. I don’t want to be just a “rookie” anymore.