So there’s been a phrase that’s become recently popular in my group of friends/classmates: ”I’m trash”. It’s usually used when they made a mistake or didn’t clean up or showed up late or couldn’t make it to a meeting or something like that.
I think that, even if it’s stated jokingly, the concept of calling yourself trash is really self-destructive. I found myself thinking to say that phrase last weekend after having to make people wait for me to finish a cosplay and gather my stuff before leaving for a convention. Then I stopped myself and thought: wow, why am I about to be so harsh towards myself?
It’s not constructive in any way. In fact, it almost feels like an excuse to what you did wrong… like you can call yourself trash and that would make whatever you did wrong okay.
That’s wrong. You’re just gonna feel like shit about yourself, especially if it keeps happening. Please. You’re a human being. We make mistakes. It’s okay to mess up. And if you know you’ve done something wrong, recognize it, but don’t put yourself down. Treat yourself better. Move on and do it better next time.
I’m really starting to notice all this negative energy we feel towards ourselves… It makes me sad.
The past two or three Econ lectures I’ve been to, I’ve sat on the left side of the lecture hall, in the left-most seat. And the past two?three? times I’ve seen this crazy little (okay, maybe more medium-sized) spider frantically crawling along the edge of the wall where it meets the floor. He keeps trying to climb up the wall but ends up flailing and falling down. Then he just follows along the wall. Thing is, there are stairs alongside the wall. The spider has to climb up the stairs. I’ve seen him do it. Takes him a while, but he does it.
The crazy thing is that I saw him today again. Is it the same spider? Did he survive in that room this whole time? Did he leave and come back? Is it a relative of the other spider? No one knows.
I saw him today and wondered about whether he was a metaphor for something. For what, I don’t know.
All I know is he appeared again. He kept struggling because that was all he could do to get out of his situation.
I also noticed that no one else noticed or cared. I did, but I did nothing to help him.
Maybe people don’t like noticing struggles of others. They’re too caught up in their own lives.
Maybe the people who do notice don’t like getting involved.
They’re too caught up in their own lives.